I got to go and visit some church friends of ours, about 45 miles northeast of me. They showed us their guest hogan (a hogan is a traditional Navajo dwelling, kind of like a hexagonal log cabin) and their home, which was the coolest one I've ever seen! I was going with a couple of Dordt student teachers for a cultural orientation to Navajo Christians, in particular, and Native Americans, in general.

Part 1. Indian tacos. They are kind of like American tacos except pinto beans are mixed in with the meat and instead of taco flavoring, they add red or green chile. The main difference, though, is that they are served on open-faced frybread (biscuit batter flattened and fried, basically... delicious and unhealthy :-D). Besides the yumminess of indian tacos, the main challenge is how to eat them. Pretty much you just have to get at least one hand really messy as you rip the frybread up and grab toppings with your hand.

Part 2. Conversation. Ted's son Mark Charles talked about the Native perception of time. In the dominant culture here in the USA, we think of time as a line. You are born at one point, you die at the end, and time continues both directions too. Once something has passed, you never get it back. To show someone that you think they are valuable, you make an appointment and are sure to be punctual. Native Americans, however (as well as most of the rest of the "Non-Western" world), view time as more circular. If you miss an event one time around, you can always try to catch it the next year. If you want to make a person feel valuable, you make sure to finish the interaction, whether it means you'll be late to your next engagement or not. Ending time, and not being concerned about schedule, are far more important than arriving punctually. This is why we laugh and say that church starts at 10:30 a.m. - Zuni time. :-) In effect, church usually starts at 10:45, and half the congregation shows up after that.
Mark and Ted also talked about the problem that Native Americans don't really have a voice, and this is really not fair. If you're interested, here's a link to a blog that more thoroughly explains the whole concept I am about to summarize. http://wirelesshogan.blogspot.com/2009/01/virtual-native-american-state.html
Mark compared it to an elderly woman who has a huge, beautiful house. She always stays in one room, as she is now sick and frail. Her house is full to bursting with people talking, laughing, etc. No one takes the time to go up to her room and tell her, "Thank you for letting us stay in your house; we had a wonderful time..." and listen to any of her stories. They don't even remember that she is there. Technically, yes she could walk down and say hello, but the guilt lies on the people who don't even remember whose house they are in. The woman is like Native Americans. They were here first, and (as a general rule) were willing to let us "immigrants" come into the country. In the 1800s they were relegated to reservations, pushed aside, and forgotten. And we don't show them much respect at all.
Mark Charles proposes a "Virtual Native American State" that would allow Native Americans to at least band together and have a small effect on the electoral college. He's trying to think of a way to give them a voice. Currently, even if all the Native Americans were to vote for the same president, their votes wouldn't make a difference because in each state they are a minority. However, if they had the option to check a box on their ballot that said they were voting as part of Native American State, they could get a bit of clout. Maybe politicians would start listening to them a bit.

3. We watched a documentary about the Navajo Code Talkers, Navajo marines who designed a code that allowed them to transmit messages in the Pacific with great accuracy and security. The Japanese cracked every code the USA tried, except for the Navajo one. It's a fascinating story; look it up sometime.

So much more could be said but that's all for now :-).

Here are some interesting quotes from Plugged In Online's article, "2009's Most Consequential Clips" (http://www.pluggedin.com/cultureclips/2010/2010-01-04.aspx). For your ponderment:

"Books enlarge us by giving direct access to experiences not our own. In order for this to work, however, we need a certain type of silence, an ability to filter out the noise. Such a state is increasingly elusive in our over-networked culture, in which every rumor and mundanity is blogged and tweeted. Today, it seems it is not contemplation we seek but an odd sort of distraction masquerading as being in the know."

—Los Angeles Times book reviewer David L. Ulin

[latimes.com, 8/9/09]

"Facebook is part of the larger electronic phenomenon deemed social networking, which includes text messaging, Twitter, e-mail, blogging, and so forth—all of which are said to herald a new day in human interaction. But let's stick to Facebook as the prime example and admit that, in the end, Facebook actually sabotages our ability to genuinely connect with others. … While the popularity of Facebook facilitates broad connectivity, I believe it does so at the expense of intimacy. Intimacy is what we really want. But because we are lazy and fearful creatures, we'll settle for connectivity, because connectivity suggests intimacy but without all the bother."

—Christianity Today senior managing editor Mark Galli

[christianitytoday.com, 2/5/09]

"Mystery, obviously, is everywhere. Is there a God? Mystery. What about life after death? Mystery. … Stonehenge? Big Foot? Loch Ness? Mystery mystery mystery. … And yet: For all that mystery, why does it feel like the world has been ripped open, all parts exposed? Why does so much seem absolutely and thoroughly demystified? These days we can leap, all of us, from a casual curiosity about anything to a sense of satisfying understanding. Instantly. Want to fold origami? There are more than 200,000 Google results on that subject available to you, now. Need to know the capital of Mauritania? A recipe for sticky buns? How to pick a bicycle lock? … What I'm getting at is hardly news to anyone: We're smack dab in the middle of the Age of Immediacy. True understanding (or skill or effort) has become bothersome—an unnecessary headache that impedes our ability to get on with our lives (and most likely skip to something else)."

—television and movie producer/director/writer J.J. Abrams

[wired.com, 4/21/09]

So often I measure God's closeness by whether He is giving me the things I want. I just read the story of Squanto, and by this measure God left him high and dry. He went to England because the sailors told him he could come back right away. He stayed with a friendly family there and learned the English language and customs. Unfortunately, it was 9 years before he could find a ship to bring him back to the New World. Then, when he was only 2 days' journey from his home village, a treacherous captain captured him as a slave. He had to brave the long voyage once again, this time in chains and indignity.

Squanto was led off the ship at a port in Spain. As he was walked to the slave market, he heard a man mention the "good men of the church" as they passed some brothers in their habits. He was sold to a harsh-looking master, but the chance mention of the "good men" gave him glimmer of hope as he noticed some brothers nearby. He broke away from his new master and begged them for help. They freed him and sent him back to England to await the next ship to the New World.

Another set-back - the family with which he had stayed in England had moved, and he had no way to contact them. Then God provided yet again as a stranger welcomed him into his house, gave him a job, and once again began the search for passage to the New World. 5 years later, Squanto was finally able to go back to his home village. When he reached it, he found... nothing. A nearby hunter told him that his village had all died in a plague two years ago.

Squanto led a lonely next year, stuck between two worlds. He was no longer used to the Indian way of living, and he had no friends or family to ease him back into the community. He also could not go back to England - he wanted to be in his home country. One day a man from the Massachusetts tribe came and asked him to go with them as their translator to the white men who had just settled at Plymouth Colony. And this is how God provided for a lonely Indian who needed family, as well as for a bedraggled band of people who needed help to feed themselves in a new country. He was working for the salvation of many, even through all the stinky things that happened to Squanto.

I don't mean to be comparing my life with Squanto's. I've pretty much grown up on Easy Street. I deeply appreciate the blessings God has showered on me. But that doesn't mean I always get what I want, when I want it. My struggle right now is that I always wanted a husband and family, and it doesn't look like God is going to answer this wish any time soon. It comes down to this - I have to trust that God loves me and that He has a plan, whether I'm seeing it at the moment or not. His goodness and love is a truth that I can put in the bank and stake my life on.

So I do. Help my unbelief, Father.

"...seeing that a pilot steers the ship in which we sail... there is no reason why our minds should be overwhelmed with fear" (John Calvin, 1553). "Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God?' Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom" (Isaiah 40:27-28). "So do not worry... For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:31-33).

I don't write much anymore because I can't think of what to say. Sundays are still the funnest day of the week, seeing all God's people, being refreshed in God-focused-ness, lots of smiles and handshakes and learning about a new person's life each week. This week I learned that two others in our church either graduated with a music major or seriously pursued one for several years. Who would have thought that, in a small congregation in the middle of nowhere?

I still meet with friends often. I have two circles of friends, if one could call them that. They're more like amoebas, I think. The first is the school crowd; other teachers and their family members. The second is the "other" crowd, people I've met at church or met friends of friends at church. Or a few through Tara, my former roommate. I miss her. When my friends and I get together, we do several things. The common thread is eat. Sometimes we hike and eat, sometimes we just eat, sometimes we watch movies and eat, sometimes we go to a fair or something and eat, and sometimes we play games and eat. I guess every now and then we get together without eating, but not often. :-)

Teaching is a lot of my life. I love hanging out with kids, and I love sharing new information. It's a great combo for a teacher. I also love the fact that I get to teach kids about Jesus. Their questions and ah-ha moments are treasured. Like Friday, there was a little problem in the class with two kids throwing pencils at each other. After I figured out what happened, which happened after a fifteen minute crime scene investigation culminating when the boy whom everyone knew started it all along, finally admitted his lie... I dealt out consequences at lunch. Consequences don't usually have to be too bad yet in third and fourth grade. Mainly an apology, losing a little lunch break, and receiving a warning for the rest of the day. Both kids had to apologize because both had thrown pencils and both had added a few words that were designed to hurt the other. The apologies were received with grace and with "I forgive you." Those are big words, and I told the kids so - when God forgives us, He doesn't see us as "that one who threw the pencil back in fourth grade." He sees us clean, and thinks, "Oh, that's a cool kid that I love." That meant a lot to the little boy who started it all. He's been having a tough time following directions this year, and a clean slate feels good to him. Later that afternoon something else happened - I forget what. But I said, "that's okay," in response. "Yes, but, do you FORGIVE me?" he asked. Yes. From the bottom of my heart, the way Jesus forgives me too!

And tomorrow (Lord willing, if I get in... there's one seat left) I start Spanish 101 in the evenings in Gallup. I'm so excited to take a college class again, excited to learn Spanish which I've been hankering to know for years now, glad to have an excuse to make me get out of school on time twice a week, and excited about the options this class give me. I need 6 credits of college level language for either the Teaching English to Students of Other Languages endorsement, or for ethnomusicology which is the study of music of different cultures. Maybe I'll do both and be in part-time school for the next ten years. Who knows? :-)

And the Purpose Driven Life is very good. I'm on day four. You can never get so knowledgable about the Bible and stuff that you don't need to get back to the basics. That was a double negative sentence so I'll say it again positively: You always need to get back to the basics, no matter how much you know. It is healing to the heart that wonders whether God really still does have a plan. He is good. He said so. It will always be true. "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." I Cor. 13:12. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11.

Loneliness is a strange phenomenon. I spent the last few weeks of the school year and the first week of summer frantically flurrying to avoid it... looked for a job too late. About halfway through the search came the realization that God promises to meet my NEEDS, not my wants. I stopped praying for a summer job and started praying for friends.

And God started working on me hard-core. I like being alone, for about two hours a day. The rest I chafe under, worry that the world might forget me, wish for more noise and more activity. I fret that my wonderful housemate is moving to Nigeria and with her, half of my ties to people my age in the community here. I complain to God that He's not doing a very good job of meeting my NEEDS. I feel sorry for myself, try to think of a way to meet people, fail miserably, and become more isolated.

This past week, I went to camp. I was a counselor; middle schoolers were the campers. The theme of "Out the Box" was explained through stories from the Bible, testimonies of other people, verses declaring who God is. We ran around and played hard all day. And amid all the activity and people that even my restless heart could desire, I was still lonely. Now instead of just people, I wanted really really close friends. I wanted to be an integral part of what was happening, instead of just a one-week volunteer.

Do you see the forbidden fruit, dangling in front of me? Do you hear the voice, "Did God REALLY say you have to live life COMPLETELY ALONE??" Do you see the lie?

Thursday night we had a time to give our "boxes" to God - to renounce the things that hold us back from freely following Him, whether that be an addiction, a fear, or too much concern for what others think of us. I knew I was boxed in, but didn't know by what. Until God showed me.

I was afraid of loneliness.

There is a difference between feeling loneliness and fearing it. Feeling loneliness is not something I can help all the time (although, it's also not to be focused on... I need to be keeping my eyes on Jesus, not my own little self). But fearing it is where I fell into the devil's schemes. I believed that maybe God did not have my best interest at heart. I thought that perhaps His plan for me was misery and disconnectedness. That can never be!

Giving away my fear of loneliness to God was one of the most wonderful feelings. I can rest now, knowing that He is taking care of my needs instead of fearing that maybe He won't. He is GOOD.

It's been a while! The end of school was about as insanely busy as it possibly could be, but when it was all finished I was in the dumps for a week. I am not good at being on vacation because I always like to have something specific to do. It keeps me from being lonely... and sometimes, keeps me too busy to spend time with God. However, as I begin the third week of puttering away at cleaning my classroom, I am really enjoying the ability to spontaneously go for a long run, or a hike, or a drive to Albuquerque real quick (if 5 hours of driving can be considered real quick...). I've planted a garden and am trying to take care of my dog's injuries from a dog fight. Gross - the dog, not the garden. And I'm even reading a bit again!

Still and all, it's a lot harder to know your place in the scheme of things when you're not working 7:30-4:30 every day. It's hard for me to remember that even though I'm on vacation technically, God still has plans and I need to keep listening and following those.

Here are some pictures of the hike I got to tag along with last week. It was AWESOME! in both senses of the word, the holy sense and the really cool sense. :-) Hope you can catch a glimpse.
p.s. i don't know how to take the underline off. i think the computer thinks i wrote a REALLY long hyperlink.

Dreams are tricky things. I think we're made to have them - to always be expecting something more, working for something important. This weekend I accomplished a "small-d" dream. A team of us got together and did the Mt. Taylor Quadrathlon. It was so fun! We were bussed up to the mountain at 7:00 (actually it ended up being 8:00, but whatever), waited around in the cold and wind watching other contestants (including many soloists who planned to do all four events their crazy selves!) and getting to our respective transfer points, till Tim rode the 13 miles up hill. Then Tara ran 5 miles up hill. John skiied 2 miles up hill. And I showshoed the last mile up and then right back down. Back to John, Tara, Tim, while the rest of us gradually made our ways back to the bus stop to get back to town. Man, it was fun! Fun to be on a mountain in the freezing cold, fun to meet a lot of nervous people waiting for their event, fun to talk with people from various parts of mountainous states, fun to plan for enough warm clothes and energy drinks to be at each stop. And especially, fun to do better than we thought we would! Turned out we had trained enough, not to do stellarly, but to do pretty darn good. And the guy we didn't know who joined our team three days before the Quadrathlon turned out to be a great skiier and an even better teammate. So our team of 3 people from Zuni and one from Santa Fe got second place in our age category (which was small... but you know, gotta boast sometimes ;-)), and had a lot of fun into the bargain.

"Little d" dreams are exciting to plan for, fun to train/prepare/anticipate for, and then when you finish you go back to life as normal. "Capital D" dreams, though, are another animal altogether. "Capital D" dreams shape your whole life. Or your life shapes them. Sometimes I don't know which way it is. More importantly, though, "Capital D" Dreams have to go through the fire of sanctification. I have never had too many Dreams, but there are a few that I hold onto very dearly. I want to make a difference in the world. Mainly, in my Dream, this has to do with reaching kids with the love of Jesus. And, I want to have a family. Only two Dreams. Is that so very hard to accomplish? Yes. Because, while I think my Dreams were planted in me by God and incorporate important aspects of His job for me down here on earth, I don't always understand them quite right. When God gives me a Dream, He knows what exactly I should do. I'm not always good at comprehending what someone is trying to tell me at the best of times, and when it is my Heavenly Father speaking with His eternal perspective, I more often than not get the wrong idea.

Here is the right idea, I think: God will fulfill His Dreams for me, because He knows that is the way that the earth (and I, too!) will see His glory and know His love. Sanctification is the process of changing my Dreams into His Dreams. It is teaching me to trust that He does best and submit to His way. It is painful, because sometimes it seems like He is doing the exact opposite of what I want. Sometimes I wonder if He is listening to me at all. But really, I don't want anything unless it's His Dream. I know from experience that His ways are good. And I want to know my good God and His ways. That's my biggest Dream.