So often I measure God's closeness by whether He is giving me the things I want. I just read the story of Squanto, and by this measure God left him high and dry. He went to England because the sailors told him he could come back right away. He stayed with a friendly family there and learned the English language and customs. Unfortunately, it was 9 years before he could find a ship to bring him back to the New World. Then, when he was only 2 days' journey from his home village, a treacherous captain captured him as a slave. He had to brave the long voyage once again, this time in chains and indignity.

Squanto was led off the ship at a port in Spain. As he was walked to the slave market, he heard a man mention the "good men of the church" as they passed some brothers in their habits. He was sold to a harsh-looking master, but the chance mention of the "good men" gave him glimmer of hope as he noticed some brothers nearby. He broke away from his new master and begged them for help. They freed him and sent him back to England to await the next ship to the New World.

Another set-back - the family with which he had stayed in England had moved, and he had no way to contact them. Then God provided yet again as a stranger welcomed him into his house, gave him a job, and once again began the search for passage to the New World. 5 years later, Squanto was finally able to go back to his home village. When he reached it, he found... nothing. A nearby hunter told him that his village had all died in a plague two years ago.

Squanto led a lonely next year, stuck between two worlds. He was no longer used to the Indian way of living, and he had no friends or family to ease him back into the community. He also could not go back to England - he wanted to be in his home country. One day a man from the Massachusetts tribe came and asked him to go with them as their translator to the white men who had just settled at Plymouth Colony. And this is how God provided for a lonely Indian who needed family, as well as for a bedraggled band of people who needed help to feed themselves in a new country. He was working for the salvation of many, even through all the stinky things that happened to Squanto.

I don't mean to be comparing my life with Squanto's. I've pretty much grown up on Easy Street. I deeply appreciate the blessings God has showered on me. But that doesn't mean I always get what I want, when I want it. My struggle right now is that I always wanted a husband and family, and it doesn't look like God is going to answer this wish any time soon. It comes down to this - I have to trust that God loves me and that He has a plan, whether I'm seeing it at the moment or not. His goodness and love is a truth that I can put in the bank and stake my life on.

So I do. Help my unbelief, Father.

"...seeing that a pilot steers the ship in which we sail... there is no reason why our minds should be overwhelmed with fear" (John Calvin, 1553). "Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God?' Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom" (Isaiah 40:27-28). "So do not worry... For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:31-33).