Jesus told His disciples to sail to the other end of the lake. While they were on their way, He fell asleep. A huge storm came up; waves were rolling over the boat and it was starting to fill with water. The panicked disciples woke Jesus and said, "Don't you even care that we're going to die here?" Jesus stood up, rebuked the wind and the waves and everything was
completely
still.
Then He scolded His disciples. "Why are you afraid? Don't you have any faith?"

Sometimes Bible reading gets boring and mundane, and I feel like I don't learn anything or connect with my heavenly Father at all. But then, every now and then, just when I need it the most, His Word will speak straight to the struggles in my heart. This story was like that. Spring break has been very hard for me. I struggled a lot with selfishness and impatience with people around. I didn't want to obey God and a couple times when I felt that gentle prompting to do something I just flat out said "no." I prayed for Him to change my attitude but nothing seemed to happen. The sorrows of the world and the uncertainties of my future, the ways it is not what I wished for or doesn't seem to meet all my "needs" at each moment, combined into a load that I just about fell under. And all this during what should be the best week of the year, when we remember the joy that Jesus gave through His sacrifice.

So by last night I felt like my boat was about to be swamped. I could feel the bottom filling with the sloshing water of my cares, and I knew something had to change quickly. And then came the story of Jesus calming the wind and the waves. The problems that I think are insurmountable are nothing; He can stop them with a single word. But even more importantly, He wants me not to worry. The disciples shouldn't have feared, because the King of the universe was in the boat with them and He could hardly drown! So of course their boat would not have sunk. Likewise, the King of the universe has made my heart His residence, so of course my boat will not be swamped. Oh me of little faith! Reminds me of the story of Peter walking on the water. He was fine as long as he kept looking at Jesus. But as soon as he was distracted and looked at the wind and thought about the principles of physics that meant he really should sink into water, not walk on top of it, he started to fall. He had the same scolding from Jesus as he was rescued again. "Why did you doubt?" Whenever I look away from Jesus, I sink. You'd think I'd have learned by now! Lord, I believe -- help my unbelief!

That said, God is now heaping blessings on again. I subbed in 3rd grade today and it was fantastic! I love teaching so much. Getting paid for working with kids is the cat's meow of a job. :-) And I have most of this week scheduled out again. And I had a phone message when I got off work that I was offered the summer job I wanted at the state park! Looks like I'll finally get that outdoors job I've been hoping for for years... and maybe I'll even get to learn to run a chainsaw. ;-) I'm pretty excited.